Wednesday, July 29, 2009
i'm gonna pretend.
i'm good at pretending, aren't i? i'm good at lying, deception, concealing the truth, dodging questions and most importantly, lying by omission.
i've had a lot of practise. i'm sure there would be other people contending for my spot in actress of the century. who cares if you can act on screen when reality is you're a liar. to your friends. to those you care about.
i'm gonna pretend there's nothing wrong.
i'm gonna pretend that i don't believe i screwed up two friendships. again.
i'm gonna pretend that i don't believe that this time i might have lost more than 2.
i'm gonna pretend that everything is fine.
i'm gonna pretend because i can't take reality anymore. not now.
i'm gonna pretend because the truth hurts. it's cliche, but it hurts.
i'm gonna pretend because even in my state of pretense, it hurts.
but the truth hurts more.
i'm sick of pretending. it's a cowardly escape. but it is still my line of defense.
i refuse to breakdown and crumble.
i refuse to show my vulnerablility.
i will not place myself in a disadvantageous position.
Posted by Ce at 8:45 am